It Wasn’t Supposed To Be Like This

Don’t we all have times like this? Haven’t we all said this or heard someone say these very words, haven’t we all looked at someone and thought “glad it’s not me”? Well, what happens when it is? What happens when those dark times come to you or someone you love?

My Diagnosis and Journey

I had breast cancer, stage 3, a year ago. I opted for a double mastectomy with no reconstructive surgery. When I got home a couple of days after, I thought now I could either live my life going “why me” and being scared that I would succumb to cancer, or I could submit to the process and be as happy as I could be and live life. I thought of my kids and my friends, and how this choice would effect them. I’m not talking about being a martyr; I’m talking about being truly happy, embracing the things that make me happy, and/or changing my life to provide a larger avenue for the happy to flow to me. So, that’s it in a nut shell. But the other side of the coin was that at the same time I was going through this, my Benevolent Dictator (my best friend and husband) was also diagnosed with defuse B-cell lymphoma. We were diagnosed within a matter of weeks apart. So that was an adventure within its self, and it brings me to this road that I am going to now tell you about.

My Love

My Benevolent Dictator, just 2 months ago, went in for his scan and they said all clear, except for a bit of a swollen lymph node. Just 3 weeks ago, he went into our oncologist, he had a lump in the same spot as the previous cancer. We quickly moved up the appointment at M.D. Anderson 2 months. In for a biopsy we go and, 4 days later, it confirmed our concerns. It is now a Double Hit Defuse B-cell lymphoma. This happens in about 5% to 10% of  patients with this disease. Their prognosis is poor.  But with that said, there are some that recover it’s about a 50 – 50 chance. But isn’t that the same chance with any of these issues?

Living with Intention

This brings me back to yesterdays post: living with intention. Just taking things day by day, choosing what is my main objective today, what my focus is. Life doesn’t stop.  It doesn’t slow down. If I keep my eye on his death, then I live in grief.  He lives in grief.  If I keep my eye on hope, then he lives in hope and things are hopeful. Don’t think for a moment that I am hardened or that I don’t care. I care; I am empathic. I feel and see things on people. It is a constant struggle, but it can be done. It can be accomplished. Perhaps not everyday, but the majority of the days.

So today my intention is to work, to paint, to sketch and prepare for my trip to Germany. You see, that is my happy place, that gives me strength to deal with these issues. My time is limited as well, but I don’t dwell there. I dwell in the time right now, and right now my husband is on a conference call and I am in my studio. We are alive and well. I can tell him I love him; I can show him my art; we can share a cup of tea; we can laugh or see a movie together. Those things I have just mentioned don’t need to have grief or sorrow mixed in. I can’t remember these wonderful moments with the erosion of sorrow or pain. I want to remember them and draw strength from them. Sorrow and pain drains.

A Season for Everything

When the time comes for sorrow and pain, and believe me it will, then I will embrace it and be in that moment, but I will not call it forward to me now. When the time comes for anger, then I will be angry. I have made note that when you allow seasons for emotions and feelings then they don’t take over your life. When you try to mask them and burry them, then they rot whatever you plant on top of them.

So Until Next Time

I am going to paint now, to be in that moment. I hope that I have given you some inspiration. I also wanted people to know that I am talking from a place that I must keep lit with light, and I am responsible for that light. No one else. So until next time, all my love.

Doing What I Love

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Dear friends,

Finding that one thing that you love is fulfilling, but what if you don’t know what that is?How can you find it with all the things that life throws at you? Between kids, food prep, errands, jobs, friends, family, health, how can you dig through all the chaos and find the things that make you happy? Believe me if I can, you can too. 

I used to go through life with blinders on; you know what I am talking about. You get so intrenched in a rut that you can’t see anything but the despair, or the chaos of the day. Time gets away and soon years have past and life is just something I was getting through. Just like when I was waiting to “get through” my children’s potty training stage or “get through” the holidays.

How can time slow down and we just start enjoying life? How can we just get a break from all the upheaval? You just have to start a little at a time. 

Waking up. 

I guess it was pretty late in life when I did wake up. When I stopped playing by the rules of others. I took a long look in the mirror and at the world around me, and decided not to play that game anymore. I only have one life and I am the one living it, and I wanted to be happy doing it. I wanted to look back at my life and say that I did make myself happy. You see, I figured out that people change the rules of what is acceptable to them, and that if you aren’t liked then chances are that is just how that is going to be. So how to start doing what I want and not what others think I should be doing? It all starts with me in the morning. I started waking up with one question. What do I want to do today? The want turned into intention and intention turned into action. I didn’t want to let myself down so I was constantly moving forward each day.

Writing it down.

Writing or blogging or making a list, journaling, whatever your niche is, do it. Just do it. Start to let those ideas flow. Get that minutia out of your head and on to the paper. Start removing that which doesn’t serve you, that which clogs your brain. Do it each and every day. After a while, you will see patterns and trails. You will start to form something that will eventually take shape. 

Celebrate the small things.

I celebrate the small things, things like a bath. I cater to the child in me; I serve her treats. I take time to listen to that inner-voice and make it stronger each day with meditation. I practice lucid dreaming before I even get out of the bed. I crave that time to hear my own thoughts and let them lead me to another adventure. 

Don’t let fear be in the driver seat. 

Don’t ever let fear be the dictator of you. Fear makes you do things you would NEVER, as a creative person, do. And yes, we are ALL creative. If you have ever decorated a house or bought a favorite shirt, you are creating. Fear steals your breath, your thoughts, and eventually your life. Worry is the mate of fear and regret follows. These are major obstacles. They should be in your writings, you should examine these like you would examine a rock when your panning for gold. That is what you’re doing, isn’t it? Looking for the value inside yourself. And if you expect to find that, you have to look INSIDE.

When you find your value… 

When you find your value, then what you’re going to do is celebrate and bring it to the outside, to a place that you can see it daily, that you can enjoy. What is that you ask? Well, it can be objects or photos, a journal or paintings. It can be clothing placed on your body a certain way, make up applied or hair fixed. It’s anything.

 

Don’t belittle yourself. 

One of the major things that I hear from others is the tearing down of one’s self. The constant “I’m sorry”; the “I have no formal education”, “people would laugh”, etc. [Insert excuse here]. Build yourself up instead. Look in the mirror and pay yourself a compliment a day, tell yourself that you love yourself, say something positive or grateful over your food, pour yourself an herbal tea and tell yourself that this is for a job well done. Thank your body for another day. Thank your memory for that joke or that remembered love.

I hope that you will think on yourself this week and that something may inspire you. Brew yourself some creative magic and share your light with the world. Until next time, stay awake and creative.

Come On In

IMG_7445woolhouse journal imageWhat Is Going On?

I have not blogged since I upgraded to my new website.  That is the way it goes sometimes.  I have to make choices as to what to put my energy towards.  Doing that makes me rusty when it comes to blogging. Also I struggle with this, “how is what I do interesting”. I just can’t wrap my head around that people can and are genuinely interested in what my process is.  How can me coming up here to my studio and painting and sketching every day be of interest to any one.  I am open to sharing.  I am open to hearing what you, as my audience, would be interested in.  So do please feel free to interact and start a conversation.  Ask me a question.

I want to be perfectly honest here and just let you guys know my ups and downs. My highs and lows.  Not everything is sunshine and skittles in an artist world. There are wonderful things that do happen and then there are days when nothing happens. I think  you have to be responsible in making your own sunshine when you can. That will carry you through those dark days when you can’t. Like the little “Ant and Grasshopper” in the “Mother West Wind” stories. For your downloadable free copy you can click on the link and enjoy it as well. I find that children stories can be fantastic for adults as well as children.  It’s a simple way to just chill, enjoy fantastic art, and gain a little wisdom as well. Next time you’re in the book store take your coffee or tea over to the children’s section and just chill.  Perhaps find that inner child and nourish them.

Lets jump right into the sunshine that I am currently working on right now.  I don’t want to give too much away because I am working for a client that turned into a friend that turned into a partner.  You know those types of people who when you meet them, anything is possible.  They see the world as you do and inspire you.  Well that is Nicola.  It’s like we grew up together.  Went on adventures together.  So without giving too much away, we are bringing that world to others.  In other words we are sharing our sunshine to inspire and create happiness in the world with this project.  What to expect?  There will be places to visit, recipes, trips to plan, places to create……. Oh and color!!  That is just to name a few of the creative outlets that we will offer.

I want to invite you to join me here on my blog for news about this project and other projects. I will also keep you up on appearances and daily workings in my studio.  You can also sign up for my news letter as well, and be told of pre-orders of projects and new book illustrations, greeting cards, signed originals, etc.

My first appearance will be in  Bad Oeyhausen, Nordrhein-Westfalen, Germany  So sign up and keep in the look as to dates and times.  Did I mention some signed prints?  Yes!  Did I mention a signed original?  Yes, a drawing will be held.

 

 

 

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The Shark’s Treasure

The Creative Room

sharks-treasure-prints
Available in as a print at Society6

That’s what I call that area that I tap into. This is what falls out. This time a jovial shark and his friends from under the sea. These are the elements that have been sketched out, watercolored, and then placed in a pattern.

 


 Cups and travel mugs just click here.

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To Order Yours Click Here

 Backpacks are crafted with spun poly fabric for durability and high print quality. Thoughtful details include double zipper enclosures, padded nylon back and bottom, interior laptop pocket (fits up to 15″), adjustable shoulder straps and front pocket for accessories. Dry clean or spot clean only. One unisex size: 17.75″(H) x 12.25″(W) x 5.75″(D).

sharks-treasure-duvet-coversvia Shark’s Treasure Duvet Cover by Edith Schmidt Art | Society6

Bedding and Pillows are also available.

In a few weeks my blog will be changing and there will be a few big announcements headed my way.  Hopefully we will have some very large giveaways with my products and art.  So if you have not followed me then go ahead and give a follow here on my blog.   Thanks for joining me and hope to see you soon. In the meanwhile have a creative day.

Logo Stamp red balloon 2016 copy

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Weeding Out The Toxicity

“After all, a weed is justplant in a place you don’t want it to be,” Miss Jane Marple, in The Murder at the Vicarage

ivy-elementAnd so it is, with things in my life that are toxic and choke out my growth. Being an artist, it is important for growth. I would think just being a human it would be important to evolve mentally and spiritually, even physically. I often must evaluate my life and look it over, removing those things that are toxic and preventing growth. They can be old habits, toxic relationships, bad choices, etc; those things that hold me back from achieving what I was created to do, that poison my self-esteem and creative flow.

The Constant Gardener

The gardener has an over view, a plan, a design; it is a goal that they will reach when their garden is fully realized. This design keeps them on their design path. It keeps pig-gardening-watercolorthem true to themselves and motivated. Without it, they would become lost, and the end creative result would become unrecognizable. The gardener must be vigilant in their task, or be overrun with weeds. It is so much easier to do it on a daily basis now, learning to recognize toxic behaviors in myself and others, and therefore avoiding it, or removing it all together.

 

 

 

Enjoying The Flowers

Once I learned to identify the weeds, or toxic behaviors of others and in myself, life began to fall into place. My life’s design started to take shape. I no longer worried about those personalities that caused discord, because they no longer affected my garden, or my life’s design. I could enjoy my life without fear. My self-esteem started to grow and life became as it should be: enjoyable. Oh, it still has its ups and downs, but they are much more manageable now. And the JOY! Did I mention that joy now blooms?  stue-watering-the-flowers

Thank you for stopping by;

I love you all, and wish you well.

Edith Schmidt Art

Logo Stamp red balloon 2016

 

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Creating Boundaries

As usual,  this is my view, an artist view, on how I am traveling through emotional illness, and a few other things that life decided to thow into the mix as well.  In this short stand on my little soap box, I will try let you peek in to my interpretation of Walls and Boundaries.

WALLS

imageWalls are built after years and years.  You can’t see though them.  Sometimes you even forget you have built a wall.  People can not get through or over walls.  They are there for a reason.  NO ACCESS.  They rarely do anyone any good.  Mostly they make bitter people.  Sometimes even socially awkward. The biggest thing I think we can agree on is they prevent us from enjoying life.

Boundaries

Boundaries are invisible yet your can see them.  Like heat waves.  You know you see them you know they are there.  You can cross them if your ballsy,  but your most likely to be told to get back on the other side. After all it’s there for your protection as well as the person who put it out there.  They allow interaction by agreeing that there are certain things that are permissible and certain things that are not. And let’s face it that’s good for everyone.

imageMy Examples of Boundaries

After 4 weeks of being flat on my back and then having to recover bit by bit, I learned a little about setting boundaries with others.  I have different boundaries for different people. I have different boundaries for different areas in my life.  They help me remain comfortable and in control of my emotions.  Since I currently deal with several one of them being health here are the health boundaries.

A.  Do not ask me how I feel

B. Do not say “Oh I’m so sorry”,  I always want to say “oh my GOD am I fucking DEAD asshole???

C. Do not tell me story of Jane, who the fuck, who had what the fuck!  It’s not my circus not my monkey!

D. Do not question me on anything my doctors and I have talked about or how I am being treated,  {Believe it or not some have been offended at this } moving on………..

E. Do No ask me what I have.  Especially if you have no relation with me, no on going friendship.  If I want you to know I will tell you end of discussion. My best friend gets that all to herself. Why?  She is that MY BEST FRIEND!

You can how ever be my friend. I always need those.  Those women who have magic, who have love to give. They have stories to tell magic to weave and healing to give.

Ask how you can be of service.   This is how you weed them out.  The talkers who just want little bits of info don’t care to  every put time in to actually make you life easier.  They just want the gossip.

Engage with me on a regular basis.  Self explanatory..

Inspire me, Self explanatory

It would not hurt to purchase my art.  (That last one is just a plug for me but it would not hurt)

This leaves me to my recent endeavor in the studio.  I have a friend that has some pugs!!

Well You can see the rest!! This little sweetie took a nose dive into some French toast one morning and looked up with  a sugar coated pug nose. Thus inspiration…….

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You can purchase this sweetie and many more wonderful works of art my yours truly.

Introducing

Marina’s Little Bean

Society6.  EdithSchmidtArt 

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Doing Studies

Taking time to push yourself

I think taking time to push yourself is as important as taking time to  recharge.

As you may or may not know I have invested in an easel. This is a two fold project.  One was just the fact that I needed to get one, but the other, and more important aspect of the investment, was to push myself into trying to do some images that I may not be so comfortable in doing.   Now that is a big deal for any artist.  You really put yourself out there.

I  always visit the children’s  section of the book store, for inspiration, to see other fantastic artist, and writers, and what they are doing, what the book market is leaning towards, and what is missing that I may be inspired to fill.

Years ago there was a great little book called “I love you like crazy cakes”.   This little book just jumped off the shelf at me.   I loved the concept and the illustrations caught my eye.  I kept this little book in my head and thought of it often.  I should have purchased it at the time and added it to my collection, but……

Getting It Down On Paper
IMG_3207Babby Hats

In choosing a child, I wanted one that was going to be easy to draw.  Children as a rule don’t have lines or character on their face, so their eyes and lips and cheeks have to convey their emotion or disposition.   As I worked the image up and added layers of wash, I was inspired.  I started remembering the ink washes or Literati painting.  I felt stronger and more sure of my ability.

 

In Short

If your an artist of any medium, encourage yourself to push yourself.  Try something that you feel your weakest in.  You may be pleasantly surprised or may get inspiration for other projects.

And Then This Happened

One Of my new friends here in the blog world, and another talented artist  Maria Isabel Warren, author of 1961.9 Life in (H2O) Colour.  real-neat-blog-awardWas  kind enough to nominate my blog for this “Real Neat Blog Award” created by petrel41 over at “dearkitty1” blog.

Thank you so much.  As I am new to this, and am getting my feet wet so to speak, over here at “WordPress” I am afraid I have not yet met other bloggers. Yet!  Seems I have been so busy creating art that I may be neglecting other aspects,  So I will have to hold this honor and nominate them in the near future, as I come to know them.   Since 1961.9 Life in (H2O) Colour nominated me… well right back at you!  Go and check our their blog and see some great creations and ideas and tutorials, if any one deserved an award they do.  Thank you again.

As according to the request

There are 7 questions that my nominator posed to me that I am supposed to answer.  So here goes:

  1. What or who inspires you the most?  Well that depends on what day it is and how I feel. One day it could be a song from “Guns and Roses”, by the way the band is getting back tougher,  or I could have just looked at the fantastic illustration work of “William Joyce “.
  2. What is your favorite leisure activity? Sketching and movie watching
  3. List 3 things that make you happy. My family, my artist friends, and travel.
  4. Best memory from 2015. The year I took fear out of the diver’s seat in the studio.
  5. What do you think is the most important thing you have learned this year? (2015) Taking fear out of the driver’s seat.
  6. What quote do you keep in mind to keep you going?  An interview years and years ago with Sir Anthony Hopkins, a reporter looked at him and said “so how does it feel being an overnight success?” He laughed and said “20 years, overnight success”.  It gave me perspective.  It gave me complete clarity.  NOTHING comes as an “overnight success”.   It’s a life time of work and I love that.
  7. What are your goals for 2016? I set more intentions then goals.  My intentions are to practice my art.  Submit often.  Push myself in areas of my art that are different and more challenging.

 

Thank you for stoping by and have a creative day!

Edie