Life is full of hurltal and pits and pendulums. Sometimes you can see all the bad things that happen you forget to look at the good much less stay focused on the things that you have to do. That is what I am going through now. I have always been a bit scattered. You know, having to take the time and look, I mean really look. Now that a health crisis has been thrown into the mix with my life partner it is really a living hell. Take this morning, I totally forgot to renew my website. My bread and butter. My business. I got so engulfed with my life of being there for him that I forgot to do that simple task. I forgot a clients file at the studio. (That is something I never do) It has been like carry an arm load of things and stumbling and spilling all but a few.
What to do
Obviously I can’t change the health crisis. No amount of preparing for those things will ever make the burden any less. It consumes your mind and weighs heavily on it. Now obviously you have to prepare. Now when I say health crisis, I mean a life or death crisis. What we did:
We have a Family Trust. In short if he were to die things go on uninterrupted. There is no probate the trust kicks in and dictates the course of action on everything. Ask your attorney he can guide you.
We have a folder on all the Family Trust documents, life insurance etc. In order and easily found so that its available.
We have our hospital directive in place. What happens if….. A living will. Etc.
We have a message system that alerts family members what is going on with medical procedures so that we don’t have to explain all the time what is going on.
My Benovelent Dictator has even started writing his memoirs. As an attorney believe me he has had some real adventures. It keeps him busy and engaged.
Why Am I Writing About This
Well its simple. Everyone will go through this. Death is something that people avoid. I know I have. The fear of loss is real. But that is it, the “fear”. Fear should not be guiding you through anything. It should be there to let you know when you are close to the edge but then you decide how to move. Fear is necessary but not in a leader position. The more things go unspoken about or unplanned for then the more fear will take over.
How Do I Incorporate This Darkenss Into Art
I draw life. I draw whimsy. I look into the light that I have collected as an artist and as a human, and I put it down on paper. I do it everyday. That is the reason that some things have fallen through the cracks. I am dipping into my reserve. But….. and here is a big but. The more I dip into the reserve of light I have stored up, the more that it creates light and love and hope. The more the universe blesses me and inspires me to move forward. The more I am able to smile and hold his hand and walk with him through this valley. And hopefully he will heal. If not I will be able to be strong in the end. For it is his time to be in the spot light. It is his stage. And he should be able to take his final bow with the strength of his family applauding him for his life.
I love you all, Thank you for reading, Thank you for allowing me in your mind and harts for a while.
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